Baka
Silver $$ Contributor
A tad of sarcasm? Very well done.bayou shooter said:Scott my friend, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re doing it all wrong.
When I became match director at our club, I initiated what some people now call, a reign of terror. I instituted policies specifically designed to turn people away and make long time shooters quit, in droves. I read the rule book cover to cover, back and forth and I keep it with me at all times so that when I confront someone about a “rule infraction,†I can quote chapter and verse while I berate him in front of everyone. Just to teach him some good humility.
I make it a point of pride to harass at least one shooter per match. I am also quite proud of the time that Saturday in mid-February when I actually got on not one, not two, but three shooters’ cases. I was on fire that day and two of them have never returned while the third one finally dared to show up last Saturday. I can tell you he was very quiet and shy. I didn’t hear a peep out of him the whole day.
The thing I enjoy most however, is dealing with newbies. I set them straight right away, showing them they are clearly not wanted because they just represent more work for me. So the first thing I do is inspect their equipment VERY closely and if there’s anything, anything at all that I don’t like or don’t approve of, they’re outta here. We have guys that come to “try out†with the equipment they have; some type of .308 rifle, a Caldwell bipod, an NCStar scope, a piece of carpet to lie on and some store-bought bullets. Really? I turn them away, telling them to come back only when they have much better $$$ equipment, but I make sure to do that in front of everyone. I like it this way, the last thing I need is more shooters at the club.
If by some chance I do let some newbie shoot, I make sure that he gets theworsebest experience possible. The remaining shooters we have know better than to talk to the new guys and help them in any way. If the newbie dares to ask questions they all send him to me or Klaus for answers. Klaus knows how to treat newbies. So much so that after they finish talking with him, they are so hopelessly confused they have no clue what to do and how to improve. Klaus is also very good acting (and I do mean acting) as scorer for a new shooter. He usually manages to get the newbie to shoot a round during prep time because he knows how I enjoy delicately explaining the infraction to the new shooter. (I think he does it just to see which new insult I come up with; he likes to grow his vocabulary of insults.) His best one this year was when he convinced a newbie that he didn’t need to put in the ECI before removing the rifle from the line. How Klaus timed it so that it occurred just as I was walking by flicking my riding crop and adjusting my monocle, I’ll never know.
It was a great time; the newbie actually soiled his pants. That episode still brings a tear to my eye just remembering it. It was epic.
If I do let a newbie shoot, I make sure he’s next to Adolph in the pits. Adolph knows how I want the newbie to be “instructed†in target pulling. I’ve not seen Adolph in action for the last few years as we’re never in the pits at the same time, but I can hear him on the line a thousand yards away explaining to the newbie the error of his ways. When these newbies come back from the pits, they are usually shaking and babbling uncontrollably. Of course, I help them get the full experience back on the line. Hey, nobody asked them to come out and shoot; they came of their own free will.
I’ve simplified the scoring and awards thing at the end of the matches. Who needs classifications anyway? It’s just a pain to keep up with. So I put everyone in the same pile and the same few guys win everything, but I do like to always point out the various pitiful scores adding some color commentary for the gallery. Before I took over, the scores were usually published later in the month or early in the next but now I made that much better, I just publish the winner’s name 3-4 months later. I think I’ve managed to actually send one report in to the NRA in the last three years, but it’s a lot of work and as I said earlier, who needs classifications?
Earlier this year, we had one guy have the audacity to ask if I would consider putting on a wind clinic and match training class sometime this decade. I’m here to tell you that I had a lot of fun explaining in detail why there was no way we wanted to even consider doing something that stupid. I pointed out that would only attract more newbies to the range and we would even have to show them how to score, pull targets, understand the match commands, and explain the way a match works in detail. I further explained that it would take away a lot of the fun we have watching the newbies trip over themselves and then get yelled at by me. “Do you not like the way Adolphputs pressure, instructs the newbies in the pits?†I asked. “Do you not like the way I jump on people’s case when they screw up on the line?†“Do you want to take away our entertainment?†Well, that put an end to that idea.
But all good things come to an end and come 2015, Hermann is taking over as matchdictatordirector. If you think I was too soft on the newbies, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.
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