Deleted outa08
Legend in his own mind. Or just another 15 minute punk flash in the pan.
Warped sense of humor
- Thread starter Ringostar
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Lots of the newer cars have a Back-Up Sensor that warns the driver before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something.
Who invented the backup sensor?
I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler, No, then how about Mercedes Benz? Or possibly the French or Italians. No! It was a Chinese farmer!
Surprisingly it was not developed by modern automotive engineers using the latest technology. It was disclosed recently that the first to develop the Back-Up-Sensor was a Chinese Farmer. His invention was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitch before the vehicle backs into something.
Here's his first prototype..
Who invented the backup sensor?
I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler, No, then how about Mercedes Benz? Or possibly the French or Italians. No! It was a Chinese farmer!
Surprisingly it was not developed by modern automotive engineers using the latest technology. It was disclosed recently that the first to develop the Back-Up-Sensor was a Chinese Farmer. His invention was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitch before the vehicle backs into something.
Here's his first prototype..
An elderly couple were at home watching TV.
Phil had the remote and was switching back and
forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.
Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said,
"For God's sake, Phil... leave it on the porn channel…
you know how to fish!"
Phil had the remote and was switching back and
forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.
Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said,
"For God's sake, Phil... leave it on the porn channel…
you know how to fish!"
Resurrection
It was Easter Sunday, and Father Sweeney had already preached to the adults in the congregation. Now he was presenting a children's sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.
Asking questions of children in front of a congregation can also be very embarrassing. So in response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.
The little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the Mass to continue.
It was Easter Sunday, and Father Sweeney had already preached to the adults in the congregation. Now he was presenting a children's sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.
Asking questions of children in front of a congregation can also be very embarrassing. So in response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.
The little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the Mass to continue.
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
" Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
" How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal? " he asks.
" Well, " his mother says, " I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.
I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says,
" You gonna tell him or should I? "
" Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
" How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal? " he asks.
" Well, " his mother says, " I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.
I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says,
" You gonna tell him or should I? "
"Chucky" Schumer searching for Nancy Pelosi’s brain.
Not a Joke but worthy of being posted here. My two favorite Hero's.
There are many American Heros who served in the Viet Nam War. It is my beliefe that every one of our brave service men and women who served there have earned the right to be saluted as a true American Hero.
That being said, There can only be a few who are given the title of Best of the Best. In the picture below, you will find two of the Best of the Best. Lt Gen Hal Moore and CMD SGT Major Humbley.
If you saw the movie "We were Soldiers," you will understand what I mean when I give them to title "Besty of the Best." Mel Gibson produced, directed and directein and I consider it his best effort ever.
Lt Gen Moore passed away recently. If you feel the way I do, please give this post a like and a comment if you an.
There are many American Heros who served in the Viet Nam War. It is my beliefe that every one of our brave service men and women who served there have earned the right to be saluted as a true American Hero.
That being said, There can only be a few who are given the title of Best of the Best. In the picture below, you will find two of the Best of the Best. Lt Gen Hal Moore and CMD SGT Major Humbley.
If you saw the movie "We were Soldiers," you will understand what I mean when I give them to title "Besty of the Best." Mel Gibson produced, directed and directein and I consider it his best effort ever.
Lt Gen Moore passed away recently. If you feel the way I do, please give this post a like and a comment if you an.
KMart
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KMart
Gold $$ Contributor
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