How do you tell someone

[BlueWater]

... without hurting their feelings or offending them? I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings and I can't run the risk of offending him ...

Can't imagine what the risk is in someone feeling triggered and offended from the reality of a thing. If no offense is offered, it's done in good faith and done from the heart, whatever misunderstanding comes from inside their own heads. Not your issue.

That said ...

If someone I know or care about, I'd probably offer a couple of suggestions:

1. Reloading is a recipe. With cooking, a bad recipe will simply end up with a dish that won't please. With reloading, however, a bad recipe (matching of X amount of powder to Y primer in Z case) can end up deadly. No way around that.

2. A sit-down watching of your own reloading session, start to finish. You can just chatter away, briefly explaining each step, explaining why the risk exists with getting the reload wrong.

3. A good-quality old/used reloading manual. One of the ones that has a few chapters at the beginning covering the whole of the basic reloading process. Suggest that it be read through at least twice, followed by getting all questions answered, all prior to ever touching a reloading station.

If not someone I care about, really, I might just suggest a good reloading manual and leave it at that. His money. His time. His "kaboom," if he fails to go in with eyes (read: mind) open.

In the end, however, the guy's gonna do what he'll do. If he truly wants no learning, then Nature will assure the learning occurs in its own way, in a manner not up to him. He'll learn, one way or the other. The easy way or the hard. That'll be on him.

 

[big5ifty]

Age is not a limiting factor to start something new.

He will learn what we all learnt, just a lot later in his life.

If part of the learning process involves damaging himself due to willfull ignorance, then that is just life.

Live and let live, even if it means it needs to be far away from you.

 

[1shot]

This post is a reminder to me as to why I have very few people that I call friends. A loner, crusty curmudgeon if you will. If what seems like the inevitable according to the OP, it would weigh very heavy on my conscience for the rest of my days if he would get injured or worse. Give it one more shot in a caring tone to help your buddy then polity tell him you are washing your hands of this matter.
I hope this helps,

Lloyd

 

[markT]

You are going to have to tell him this is what is going to happen to him. “ Naw you don’t know what your doing.”

 

[brokeasajoke]

Maybe you could set down with him and say you have progressed with your reloading skills to a point it's time to talk about safety or something along those lines then make it a lesson. Maybe talk to him as if he has graduated to the safety aspect of reloading school.

 

[WyleWD]

Hurting someone's feelings with a little honest conversation is far better than doing nothing and possibly letting them severely injure themself or someone else.

+1^ We all probably know someone who shoots that shouldn't even have access to a firearm, let alone reload for one. There are true craftsmen and then those people who could "F" up an anvil with a toothpick. I'm not sure where he fits on that sliding scale but one has to determine at least to some degree where his capabilities are.

John, if you fellas have been friends for this long you'll know better how to deal with him than most of us. That being said, if you can't reason or have an upfront and civil conversation with the fellow, how good of a friend is he to you? I'd like to think he'd respect your skills and care enough to listen to you. Lastly, if he's in his late 70's there may be other underlying issues associated with age that are contributing to this. Man, I wish you well and hope it turns out for the best for your friendship with him. Let us know what you do and how it turns out. JMHO. WD

 

[hogpatrol]

Short, sweet and to the point, "I love you man but if you insist on not following the book or learning from me, you're going to kill or seriously injure yourself and possibly guys sitting near you. You won't have to worry anymore about reloading, you'll be sued for negligence and won't have the money". If he doesn't buy in to that, drop reloading and shooting from the things you do together.

 

[DHuffman]

he won't sue you.

His insurance company will

Absolutely correct, this is what people overlook every time. Actually it should read:

If he doesn't sue you his insurance company damn sure will.

Lawyers gotta eat too you know.

 

[Jeff Porter]

Lastly, if he's in his late 70's there may be other underlying issues associated with age that are contributing to this.

I went through this with my best friend. He was the one who got me into reloading. We reloaded and shot together for years. Then he started having troubles with his loads and basic maintenance on his firearms. I was a bit annoyed at first but it soon became clear he was having early stage memory issues. I truly hope this isn’t the case because it sucks.

 

[Shooter13]

Find some videos on Youtube where they used the wrong powder and exploded the gun, hopefully he can learn not to load or to load correctly.

 

[BP1]

You’ve done all you can do, it’s in Darwin hands now

 

[std7mag]

As mentioned, perhaps if you have Quickload or GRT, you could show him what happens to pressure with just adding more of a different powder.

As mentioned already also reloading is about following the recipe.
No better way to show him he needs to follow the recipe than baking.
Give him a recipe for a cake, or something.
When it doesn't taste right, or has overflowed the pan, it may stick with him better.

Get his wife involved.
Believe me, if she sees his actions, she'll set him straight right quick after hearing/seeing the results of not listening can be.

 

[jelenko]

In the end, however, the guy's gonna do what he'll do. If he truly wants no learning, then Nature will assure the learning occurs in its own way, in a manner not up to him. He'll learn, one way or the other. The easy way or the hard. That'll be on him.

+1

 

[jelenko]

he won't sue you.

His insurance company will

+ a bunch.

And, remember, a lawyer actually doesn't care if what you were doing had anything to do with the event. They go after people/entities that were in some way associated with the event and have money/insurance. If you have insurance, you've got money.
The job for the lawyers from the other insurance company is to get as much money as possible to reduce the net cost to their company.

 

[D-4297]

Having reached the young age of seventy-three; and been involved in teaching some so-called high-risk sports and activities . I have come to the conclusion that there are several things in life that some people just should not be allowed to do . They are :

Shooting
Skydiving
Motorcycles
Race Cars
Golf

And you can easily add "Reloading" to that list . Some folks just don't have the mental faculties to grasp the "Danger" concept that they are handling explosives , and what the inherent and devastating result could be . My opinion to this is very straight forward . If your friend is that Mature , talk to him as a friend , and give it to him straight . We aren't playing tiddly-winks here , and you aren't doing him , or others any favors by being P.C. , to the point that he doesn't "GET " the message .

 

[Damfino]

that they have no business reloading and actually prevent them from doing so without hurting their feelings or offending them? I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings and I can't run the risk of offending him because he will just leave, go buy a complete set up off Amazon and promptly blow up a nice firearm or worse hurt himself. So far I've been letting him "help" me load his shells and it's beginning to get pretty time consuming. He can afford handgun ammo by the case but he's too tight to buy it, and insists that he's as capable as I am. He's bull headed and sees no real difference between red dot and 296, "just use a little more red dot and it'll go just as fast ". I'm at my wit's end! And for clarity I'm 77 and been loading since the 50s and he's 74 and never loaded...
Thought I would see what y'all might think .....
"Just shoot up here amongst us"!!!
John

As someone older and wiser said to me moments before I did something very stupid, "There are bold pilots and there are old pilots, but there is no old and bold pilots." The same can be said for sky diving, scuba diving, or anything that requires precision and potential danger such as reloading. Your friend reminds me of a drunk driver who's convinced he's okay, but tempt fate enough and it will end up as a preventable tragedy.

 

[Lone Hunter]

As mentioned, perhaps if you have Quickload or GRT, you could show him what happens to pressure with just adding more of a different powder.

As mentioned already also reloading is about following the recipe.
No better way to show him he needs to follow the recipe than baking.
Give him a recipe for a cake, or something.
When it doesn't taste right, or has overflowed the pan, it may stick with him better.

Get his wife involved.
Believe me, if she sees his actions, she'll set him straight right quick after hearing/seeing the results of not listening can be.

Or get a larger insurance policy. LOL.. Some people will just not listen to sound advice. This guy sounds like one of them. I would tell him straight out what is getting ready to happen and he is going to do what he wants no matter what anyone else says.

 

[qldreloader]

Bit of a sidetrack but I'm genuinely interested. In the USA could you really be sued in civil court for being involved in teaching a friend to do something that they subsequently became injured doing? If that's true how does anyone ever learn to do anything or dare pass on knowledge to someone else? Sounds surreal.

 

[Lesloan]

Guard your actions closely. It sounds as though he is the type to 'fudge' a little when you aren't watching and then put the blame on you for the consequences. Unless this person is a relative, I would decline to waste my time and/or resources on one who won't listen and is a clear and present danger to himself and others.

Ditto to that. And. one more...don't shoot from the bench next to his!

 

[Dusty Stevens]

Bit of a sidetrack but I'm genuinely interested. In the USA could you really be sued in civil court for being involved in teaching a friend to do something that they subsequently became injured doing? If that's true how does anyone ever learn to do anything or dare pass on knowledge to someone else? Sounds surreal.

No