Warped sense of humor
- Thread starter Ringostar
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Robert Weidler
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And the F=8
joshb
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Ahh! The indignant Porn Star! That story was epic “spin”!
KMart
Gold $$ Contributor
Boudreaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Thibodeaux (TIB-a-dough). He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Clotile. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Boudreaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Clotile staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you, Boudreaux?" Boudreaux said, "Mon cher, why you say such a mean ting?" "Well," Clotile said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Boudreaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Clotile staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you, Boudreaux?" Boudreaux said, "Mon cher, why you say such a mean ting?" "Well," Clotile said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror.
Stormy was nearby in Columbus but I saved my money and just looked at a pair of these.
KMart
Gold $$ Contributor
You Might be a Cajun If....
...you start an angel food cake with a roux.
...watching the "wild kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.
...you think the head of the united nations is Boudreaux/ Boudreax-Guillory.
...you think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.
...you think Ground Hog Day and Boucherie day are the same holiday.
...you take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for the Tabasco.
...Fred's lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.
...you pass up a trip abroad to go to the crawfish festival in Breaux Bridge.
...your children's favorite bedtime story begins "first you make a roux..."
...your description of a gourmet dinner includes the words "deep fat fried."
...your mama announces each morning, "well, I've got the rice cooking-what will we have for dinner?"
...you greet your long lost friend at the Lafayette international airport with "iiiiieeeeeee!"
...you sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says "don't eat the dead ones" and you know what he means.
...you don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames.
...you gave up Tabasco for lent.
...you know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue, and Zydeco.
...your dog thinks the bed of your pickup is his kennel.
...any of your dessert recipes call for jalapenos.
...you consider Opelousas the capital of the state, and Lafayette the capital of the nation.
...you think the four seasons are: duck, rabbit, deer, squirrel.
...you start an angel food cake with a roux.
...watching the "wild kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.
...you think the head of the united nations is Boudreaux/ Boudreax-Guillory.
...you think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.
...you think Ground Hog Day and Boucherie day are the same holiday.
...you take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for the Tabasco.
...Fred's lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.
...you pass up a trip abroad to go to the crawfish festival in Breaux Bridge.
...your children's favorite bedtime story begins "first you make a roux..."
...your description of a gourmet dinner includes the words "deep fat fried."
...your mama announces each morning, "well, I've got the rice cooking-what will we have for dinner?"
...you greet your long lost friend at the Lafayette international airport with "iiiiieeeeeee!"
...you sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says "don't eat the dead ones" and you know what he means.
...you don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames.
...you gave up Tabasco for lent.
...you know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue, and Zydeco.
...your dog thinks the bed of your pickup is his kennel.
...any of your dessert recipes call for jalapenos.
...you consider Opelousas the capital of the state, and Lafayette the capital of the nation.
...you think the four seasons are: duck, rabbit, deer, squirrel.
Ole got a job vurkin at da pickle factory. After he got home, Lena ask Ole, How did yur first day at vurk go today? Ole says, Vell, it vent good. But my friend Sven try to talk me into puttin my peter in da pickle slicer! Lena says, Oh Ole you vouldnt do dat. Ole says, Nah I vouldnt do dat. The next day vhen Ole got home from vurk. Lena ask, Vell Ole how’d yur day go at vurk today? Ole says, Vell it vent good, but dat Sven still try an talk me into puttin my peter in da pickle slicer. Lena say, Oh Ole you vouldnt do dat. Ole say, Nah I vouldnt. The third day Ole come home from vurk early. Lena says, Ole vhat are you doin home from vurk so early? Ole says, Vell today Sven finally talk me into puttin my peter in da pickle slicer. Lena says, Oh my God, Ole vhat happened? Ole says, Vell she and I both got fired!
In high school I had a friend named Richard Richard. After the jokes were over he said my nane is pronounced Richard Re-shard.
I know when he went into the military, they had a good time at mailcall.
At Vandenberg AFB, I had a Lt. Minor, who was a good sport. We used to kid him anout when he gets promoted he would be Major Minor, and Personnel would have his records filed as Minor, Major
I know when he went into the military, they had a good time at mailcall.
At Vandenberg AFB, I had a Lt. Minor, who was a good sport. We used to kid him anout when he gets promoted he would be Major Minor, and Personnel would have his records filed as Minor, Major
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