You don't. It's a terminology thing and the only real reason for "speaking in the various languages" regarding jam and touch etc, are for communicating numbers, mostly on internet forums. To your point...you're right. full jam, in my definition, is as far into the lands a given bullet can be pushed with a specific amount of "neck tension"...another term that gets used/misused..but we know what is meant by.
Just remember that most or all tools sold for measuring, say touch point, are comparators. They aren't intended to give actual dimensions between say mine and your comparator tool. But if we say touch, that has a meaning, regardless of what the number is on a set of calipers or whatever. So, if I say I'm .010 off of touch, we're speaking the same language is all. Not that it'll shoot best in your gun though and the actual number on the caliper will likely be different, yours to mine....but .010 off of touch is just that. Assuming the same and consistent manner of finding touch is used for both people involved. If only one person...It doesn't matter how you come to a number as long as it's repeatable.