Warped sense of humor

[blackwidowp61]

 

[blackwidowp61]

 

[blackwidowp61]

 

[KMart]

I'm being oppressed; no one will hire me!


GotRDid.

A couple of things.
This was done so NOBODY will hire them
This allows them to get on Social Security Disability for so many reasons.
Opens the door for many social welfare programs.

OK, OK, I can't count

 

[rjtfroggy]

I'm being oppressed; no one will hire me!


GotRDid.

Try the circus they are always looking to fill up the FREAK SHOW.

 

[TomN]

 

[Deleted outa08]

View attachment 1136586

He`ll be in the FREE Health care line in the future. Can you pay for that crap with an EBT card? Because IT surely doen`t have a job.

 

[Robert Weidler]

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a
Deserted street with your wife
And two small children.
Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife
Comes around the corner,
Locks eyes with you,
Screams obscenities,
Raises the knife, and charges at you...
You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's Answer:
� Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
� What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
� Does the man look poor or oppressed?
� Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
� Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
� Could we run away?
� What does my wife think?
� What about the kids?
� Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
� What does the law say about this situation?
� Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
� Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
� Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
� Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
� If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
� Should I call 9-1-1?
� Why is this street so deserted?
� We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
� Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
� I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
� This is all so confusing!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... .


Republican's Answer:



BANG!


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ......

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!

WOW! Twelve shots before reloading from a Kimber 1911. What model? I want one.

 

[Medic505]

WOW! I guess you've never thought about an extended magazine?

 

[Legionnaire]

View attachment 1136586

Fell out of a tackle box ...

 

[rebel]

Denied......damn.

 

[rebel]

View attachment 1136586

What a fantastic time to have a super powerful electromagnet attached to a passing semi!

 

[pirate ammo]

 

[pirate ammo]

 

[pirate ammo]

 

[okie]

RETIRED HUSBAND

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

LMAO!!

 

[Nick Caprinolo]

 

[Nick Caprinolo]

 

[Nick Caprinolo]

 

[Nick Caprinolo]