Warped sense of humor
- Thread starter Ringostar
- Start date
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Another favorite line of mine from this set by Ron:
“I didn’t know how many of them it was gonna take to whip my a**, but I knew how many they were going to use...”
Yeah, break a damn leg.
GotRDid
Gold $$ Contributor
Now we see the violence inherent in the system...
I'm being repressed...
moistened bint...
Thank God someone recognized my Monty Python reference; I almost swore off posting them anymore due to no feedback.
GotRDid.
KMart
Gold $$ Contributor
After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So, the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Kentucky) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.
The Kentuckian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me,' said the doctor.
So, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! "1" "2" "3" “4” "5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Parts of Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, and all of Washington DC.
So, the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Kentucky) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.
The Kentuckian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me,' said the doctor.
So, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! "1" "2" "3" “4” "5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Parts of Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, and all of Washington DC.
Medic505
Gold $$ Contributor
I find this funny because we are looking at dishwashers. New dishwashers are Bluetooth compatible. Really? There is a need to hook your dishwasher up to your phone? I'm waiting on the wi-fi commode.
One day, when we know all of what they are doing to us with electronic devices, we will regret ever having one.
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