GotRDid
Gold $$ Contributor
Warped sense of humor
- Thread starter Ringostar
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It is very hard to tell but it looks like the nail polish matches.
I dont know if that is a sharp observation re hand size or merely coming from someone who is very jaded....... "There was a hand in the picture?"
Something was disturbing the ambiance of the photo and it just triggered me.
I've got more if you want them.
Conspiracy theorists can be fun, especially if you're a cop.
We had this half-a-bubble-off-plumb gentleman occupying a trailer in a village north of town, the walls of which he had lined with fine-gauge copper mesh.
Once in a while, the Cthulhu Advance Landing Force, or whoever, would stumble across his hide-out, and he'd wake up his neighbors running around the old homestead at three in the morning carrying one of those million-candle-power searchlights and a Benelli M121.
Being the night deputy, I'd scoot out there, step around the protective designs laid out in bricks in the front yard, feed a Twinkie to his Rottweiler and tell the gentleman to knock it off.
Then we'd wind up searching the boonies until he was certain that whomever was after him had missed him again and he'd go back to bed.
Small towns being what they are, some bored bozo hauled off and started the rumour that I was a retired CIA assassin.
The gentleman apparently showed up at the SO sometime shortly after that little rumour got to going around and handed the Sheriff a hand-written FOIA form demanding: 1)my 'secret file', 2) a DNA sample, and 3)my family history.
Then he sent me a registered letter, informing me that the village (and his trailer) had been nationalized, and it was a high felony for Agents of Change to enter his zone.
I spent the next day parked down the street, watching his trailer through a Viewmaster and occasionally (furtively) whispering into my watch.
Him and his dog packed up and left town that night.
LawDog
We had this half-a-bubble-off-plumb gentleman occupying a trailer in a village north of town, the walls of which he had lined with fine-gauge copper mesh.
Once in a while, the Cthulhu Advance Landing Force, or whoever, would stumble across his hide-out, and he'd wake up his neighbors running around the old homestead at three in the morning carrying one of those million-candle-power searchlights and a Benelli M121.
Being the night deputy, I'd scoot out there, step around the protective designs laid out in bricks in the front yard, feed a Twinkie to his Rottweiler and tell the gentleman to knock it off.
Then we'd wind up searching the boonies until he was certain that whomever was after him had missed him again and he'd go back to bed.
Small towns being what they are, some bored bozo hauled off and started the rumour that I was a retired CIA assassin.
The gentleman apparently showed up at the SO sometime shortly after that little rumour got to going around and handed the Sheriff a hand-written FOIA form demanding: 1)my 'secret file', 2) a DNA sample, and 3)my family history.
Then he sent me a registered letter, informing me that the village (and his trailer) had been nationalized, and it was a high felony for Agents of Change to enter his zone.
I spent the next day parked down the street, watching his trailer through a Viewmaster and occasionally (furtively) whispering into my watch.
Him and his dog packed up and left town that night.
LawDog
47WillysGuy
Gold $$ Contributor
Beer & the Wheel:
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BB Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men “evolved” into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to respond angrily to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss off more liberals.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks!
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BB Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men “evolved” into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to respond angrily to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss off more liberals.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks!
I met my first tin foil hatter on the phone, the first night I worked on the police department. There I was, fresh out of training, ready to work my first shift. New snazzy blue uniform, Clarino duty belt, S&W 66 on my hip. I was ready to hit the streets and fight crime and or evil. I walked into the radio room and the dispatcher was on the telephone. I stood there quietly for a second, and suddenly he said, "Just a minute ma'am, an officer just walked in." and handed me the phone. Being the rookie I was at the time, I said, "Hello, officer White speaking." I was answered with a tirade that went along the lines of "I've got the tin foil on my rabbit ears in just the right place. I can hear everything they are saying and they are invading next week. You have to get down here with your recording equipment right now and get this on tape!" At which point the dispatcher almost fell out of his chair laughing. It was Thelma, the first tinfoil hatter I met. She was a regular caller. But it turned out thet the dispatcher had called her that afternoon to initiate me.
The next one we had was a nice old man who called one night about surprising a prowler and scaring him under the back porch. This was right at shift change and we'd never had a call there before. So he got all five officers (both shifts, 3 from 4-12 shift about to go off duty and 2 from 12-8 just coming on duty). We raced up there and parked down the block, did a stealthy approach on foot, and found that a small cat would have had a hard time getting under that particular porch. The joists were barely an inch off the ground. But the poor man was livid. The prowler was under there, he had chased him there. He was probably tunneling into the house at this very moment, and what were we going to do about it? The midnight sergeant, not wanting to go back several times that night, put his ear to the post holding the roof up, and said "Yep, I hear him digging, but he's not going very fast. Probably not enough room to dig very fast under there. The guy who knows about tunnels works days. We'll send him right down as soon as he gets in at 8." With that we left.
Thursday night, I met our newest tinfoil hat club member. 9:30, suspicious vehicle call. Car was supposedly sitting in the guys’ driveway watching him. Two units are within a few blocks and there within a minute or two. No car in the driveway. Complaintant said, "He must have heard you get dispatched on his scanner and left." "Well sir, there was only one way in or out of here and neither unit passed a vehicle anywhere near here." To which he replied, "He had to have gone to stealth mode when he heard you were coming."
"Ok sir, we'll mark you down for extra patrol."
11:15, complainant calls back. "He's back, same car." Dispatcher, "Can you give me a description of the car?" Complainant, "I can't see it, but I know it's there, tell the officers on the MDC (Message Distribution Center), I don't think he's got the equipment to intercept that."
I stole an idea from Lawdog and suggested we go down there and fire a couple shots into the ground and tell him we killed the intruder. We discussed it for awhile and decided it probably wouldn't fit in and someone would get in trouble.
One day we're going to catch the bus that drops all of these people off in town and hold it at gunpoint while we gather them up and load them back up.
The next one we had was a nice old man who called one night about surprising a prowler and scaring him under the back porch. This was right at shift change and we'd never had a call there before. So he got all five officers (both shifts, 3 from 4-12 shift about to go off duty and 2 from 12-8 just coming on duty). We raced up there and parked down the block, did a stealthy approach on foot, and found that a small cat would have had a hard time getting under that particular porch. The joists were barely an inch off the ground. But the poor man was livid. The prowler was under there, he had chased him there. He was probably tunneling into the house at this very moment, and what were we going to do about it? The midnight sergeant, not wanting to go back several times that night, put his ear to the post holding the roof up, and said "Yep, I hear him digging, but he's not going very fast. Probably not enough room to dig very fast under there. The guy who knows about tunnels works days. We'll send him right down as soon as he gets in at 8." With that we left.
Thursday night, I met our newest tinfoil hat club member. 9:30, suspicious vehicle call. Car was supposedly sitting in the guys’ driveway watching him. Two units are within a few blocks and there within a minute or two. No car in the driveway. Complaintant said, "He must have heard you get dispatched on his scanner and left." "Well sir, there was only one way in or out of here and neither unit passed a vehicle anywhere near here." To which he replied, "He had to have gone to stealth mode when he heard you were coming."
"Ok sir, we'll mark you down for extra patrol."
11:15, complainant calls back. "He's back, same car." Dispatcher, "Can you give me a description of the car?" Complainant, "I can't see it, but I know it's there, tell the officers on the MDC (Message Distribution Center), I don't think he's got the equipment to intercept that."
I stole an idea from Lawdog and suggested we go down there and fire a couple shots into the ground and tell him we killed the intruder. We discussed it for awhile and decided it probably wouldn't fit in and someone would get in trouble.
One day we're going to catch the bus that drops all of these people off in town and hold it at gunpoint while we gather them up and load them back up.
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