Warped sense of humor

[Immike]

 

[Sparky570]

Funeral Home....."We're the Last to Let you Down"

 

[Nowhere Man]

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

 

[xswanted]

When I sold guns I always had a love hate relationship with deer season. You always had some idiot bragging about his shot.

“Here’s a picture of my 132 4/6 buck I shot on the run at 417.9 yards!”

My response.....”that’s impressive, I always stop running before I start shooting, you’ll have to show me how to do that”

 

[TAJ45]

A friend of mine said this while I was trying to hold his rifle steady standing up and aiming at the target 200 yards away. Your shaking like a dog shi#$%g bones. I became a belly shooter.

I always heard $hi!!I%g Razor blades. That there be some shakin'.

 

[dfrosch]

I always schedule my dentist appointment at 2:30... tooth hurty.

 

[KMart]

When I sold guns I always had a love hate relationship with deer season. You always had some idiot bragging about his shot.

“Here’s a picture of my 132 4/6 buck I shot on the run at 417.9 yards!”

My response.....”that’s impressive, I always stop running before I start shooting, you’ll have to show me how to do that”

A similar story. Guys standing around the campfire at deer camp( alcohol may have been involved) and one guy is telling the others about the fantastic shot he made on his kill that day. As he finished his tale, one of his friends asked, "were you shooting from the hip or did you aim at him"?

 

[Sparky570]

Buffalo got 4',,,2 in the front and 2 in the back

 

[Ken]

My company slogan is" What we lack in good we make up for in slow."

The name of my company is "Fly By Night Construction."

 

[Immike]

I give the double lifetime warranty on some work, if “YOU” die then your not coming back with it, or if “I” die then I don’t have to fix it.

 

[ARW]

Sign on a backwoods butcher shop. "You might beat our prices but you can't beat our meat"

 

[Larry Klutts]

Speaking of signs,

 

[mike a]

Don't give your life for your country. Make the other poor dumb bastard give His life for His country.

 

[jds holler]

I am often astounded by something that I don’t know, and how thoroughly I don’t know it. jdscholer

 

[Immike]

 

[BenPerfected]

Don't give your life for your country. Make the other poor dumb bastard give His life for His country.

You and I are different planets. My father was a combat navigator in WW2. Some of my similar aged friends fought on the front lines in Vietnam. Many never made it back. One of my very best friends today Vietnam assignment was fly his rescue helicopter into enemy fire and attempt to extract our wounded.
To this day, war makes me sad.
Ben

 

[hpshooter]

Funeral home not far away is named "Bruce and Stiff", get a good chuckle whenever I drive by it.

Really don't want to know what Bruce does with the Stiff!

 

[tmwinds]

You and I are different planets. My father was a combat navigator in WW2. Some of my similar aged friends fought on the front lines in Vietnam. Many never made it back. One of my very best friends today Vietnam assignment was fly his rescue helicopter into enemy fire and attempt to extract our wounded.
To this day, war makes me sad.
Ben

This was a quote from WW2. Gen. George Patton speaking to the troops before they entered combat. In essence he was telling the troops that to win they must stay alive to kill the enemy. Patton wasn't very politically correct but he knew how to win a battle.

 

[wedgy]

 

[Nowhere Man]

Master Bait and tackle.