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Warped sense of humor

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Just to give GotRDid a break so his fingers don't go numb!

My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
If I’m sarcastic when I talk to you, it’s either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you, or I really hate you and I don’t care if you know. Good luck trying to figure out which category you fit.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. --- Will Rogers
 
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