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UPS Driver View of the Covid-19 changed world

carlsbad

Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
From an anonymous UPS delivery driver...

5 types of customers since the “rona”:

1) Steve:

He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been reading Accurateshooter since 0500 in his recliner and his personal protection weapon within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve thanks me and I compliment his ragged old American flag as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his reloading components.

Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.

2) Brad:

He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape.

Brad will not survive.
Steve will probably eat him.

3) Nancy:

She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper.

She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.

4) Karen:

She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonalds, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello kitchen” to her.

Karen will not survive longer than Brad.

5) Mary:

Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Garth Brooks, and Bob Dylan playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days.

Mary will survive and marry Steve.
Together they will repopulate the earth.
May God have mercy on us all.
 
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Love it and laughed all the way through it, I'm an insurance adjuster and see these people all the time, there is one more, the horder, they have everything they have ever touched afraid to throw it away because there might be something "valuable" left in the paper.
 
As a 35 yr retired UPS driver, that's close but a little Hollywood.
And depends on what part of the country and area you deliver.
Guess I'm thinking too much into it.
Had a little laugh.
 
I keep the projectile and propellant shipments under 40#, I don't want the drivers talking. And my dog is learning the 6' social distancing suggestion, but like 1/2 the kids in public school isn't good at math.
 
Wait until the MSM starts publicizing the problems at the meat factories. Better stock up now before they do.
 

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