The only groundhog I’ve ever got to shoot at took up residence under my house in KY. I had to shoot him with a 22 Pistol to keep suspicion down since I lived in the middle of town.
My wife tried growing tomatoes. It was odd. The tomatoes stayed green and small except for one Golden Jubilee. They didn't grow or ripen.
Then one day she said, "There is a creature living under our house." I asked her to describe it and from the description I assumed it was an opossum.
Then one day I came home from work and saw it by the tomatoes. Woodchuck for sure. This time it had started on the single Golden Jubilee, having eaten from both sides. It scurried away when it saw me, but the mystery had been solved. He was eating them as fast as they grew, not waiting for them to ripen and turn red.
Out came the .177 Crossman with the red-dot scope and I set up an ambush from one of the upper windows. Yup, you read that right, a red-dot on the pellet gun. We lived in a little subdivision, what NH called a compact area. Discharging firearms are forbidden so anything larger was out of the question.
I pumped it up about twenty times and waited. Sure enough, he eventually cameback out to finish his lunch. I waited until he had settled in to the tomato and squeezed one off. I could tell it was a good hit and he scampered off. I figured he might decide to move if the neighborhood started going downhill.
Ten minutes later he's back at the one (actually about 3/4) tomato he had left.This time I pumped it thirty times and got another good shot. Off he went. I thought this time for sure he would be gone for good.
Twenty minutes later he's back again, but looking all around like he feels he's being watched. Screw the damn ordinance, out came the .22.
Just as I slid the barrel out the window and started to take up the slack, the neighbor's teenage daughter came home from school and took their dogs out to the backyard to play. I waited. Patience is a virtue.
Eventually she went inside and the woodchuck was still there eating. Bang! Then the gun got returned to the safe right away before anyone saw anything.
I went outside and there he lay, slumped over a flat rock by the tomatoes, looking like someone that had had a massive coronary while eating lunch at the kitchen table.
I normally would give vermin an air burial. You know, drop the tailgate, place carcass, then find a railroad crossing at about 40 mph. They magically disappear. But I knew my wife would be home any minute and the critter was good eating and I wanted to offer her the ultimate satisfaction of eating the culprit that had completely decimated her tomato crop, so I left him where he fell.
Sure enough she comes home and sees what is left of her prize Golden Jubilee before I have a chance to say a word. "I want you to kill that creature," she said.
"Did it look something like that?" I asked, pointing at the woodchuck. I regaled the entire stalk and offered to dress and clean it if she wanted to eat him, explaining that they basically have the same diet as a rabbit, just with shorter ears, and assured her that it tastes just like chicken.
She declined, which surprised me because Chinese will eat anything with legs except for the kitchen chairs, but then she asked, "Aren't our next door neighbours from Maine? Maybe they'll want it."
Air burial.