O’Joe said yesterday that he was a President for all of the States, Red and Green!
You gotta love him.
Little bit of humor for the day
- Thread starter JackWagon
- Start date
- Status
You gotta love him.
He was referring to the "green cards".
Would You Marry Again? - Priceless
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over
at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What
would you do if I died? Would you get married
Again?"
HUSBAND:
"Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not?
Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of
course I do.."
WIFE: "Then why
wouldn't you remarry? "
HUSBAND: "Okay,
okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You
would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes
audible groan)
WIFE: "Would
you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure,
it's a great house.."
WIFE: "Would
you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where
else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would
you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND:
"Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would
you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That
would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would
you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm
sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would
you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes,
those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would
she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No,
she's left-handed."
WIFE: --
silence --
HUSBAND:
"shit."
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over
at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What
would you do if I died? Would you get married
Again?"
HUSBAND:
"Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not?
Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of
course I do.."
WIFE: "Then why
wouldn't you remarry? "
HUSBAND: "Okay,
okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You
would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes
audible groan)
WIFE: "Would
you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure,
it's a great house.."
WIFE: "Would
you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where
else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would
you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND:
"Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would
you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That
would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would
you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm
sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would
you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes,
those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would
she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No,
she's left-handed."
WIFE: --
silence --
HUSBAND:
"shit."
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
"Holy Mary" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say,
"God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight
he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me.
This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
"Holy Mary" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say,
"God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight
he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me.
This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
NorCalMikie
Gold $$ Contributor
A priest and a rabbi were sitting in adjacent seats on an aeroplane.
After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?" "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a bacon sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever yielded to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith.”
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.
Finally the rabbi quietly commented, "Beats the hell out of a bacon sandwich doesn't it?"
After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?" "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a bacon sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever yielded to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith.”
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.
Finally the rabbi quietly commented, "Beats the hell out of a bacon sandwich doesn't it?"
Awsome!!!
To go with GotRDid's.
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