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Laugh for the Day

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Limit all US politicians to two terms:
- One in office

- One in prison

Apparently, Illinois already does this,
and it seems to
work for them!


Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ... do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ... do banks leave vault doors open and
then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ... do we leave cars worth thousands of
dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ... do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER .... Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish
washing liquid made with
real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used
on airplanes? Why don't they
make the entire plane
out of that stuff?


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all
stuck together?


I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro... is Congress the
opposite of
progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
 
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