Laugh for the Day
- Thread starter Ccrider
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Saying goodbye to mother (not sad)
We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned Uber and requested a ride. The car arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, shot back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house, because she always tries to get to the bird, with a meal in mind.
My wife goes on out to the car, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the car, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'
A few minutes later, I get into the car. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'
The driver hit a parked car.
We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned Uber and requested a ride. The car arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, shot back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house, because she always tries to get to the bird, with a meal in mind.
My wife goes on out to the car, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the car, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'
A few minutes later, I get into the car. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'
The driver hit a parked car.
What Is Couple Sex?--- An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was
working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?”
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided
that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to
get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell
her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth
hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this
question, honey?”
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs."
working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?”
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided
that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to
get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell
her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth
hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this
question, honey?”
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs."
rjtfroggy
Gold $$ Contributor
Nick which one is you?
NorCalMikie
Gold $$ Contributor
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