• This Forum is for adults 18 years of age or over. By continuing to use this Forum you are confirming that you are 18 or older. No content shall be viewed by any person under 18 in California.

Warped sense of humor

Status
Not open for further replies.
This is what happens when a computer pisses off a redhead with anger management issues.
100_0284.JPG
And this is the 2nd Western Digital hard drive that had a total failure taking everything with it. The 1st was replaced free under warranty. This one was still under warranty but I refused to ever use another one. I sent it back to them and told them I didn't like their products because they weren't bulletproof.
100_0293.JPG
 
Three couples are trying to get married at a local church.
renderTimingPixel.png


Long
One was an elderly couple, another was a middle-aged couple, and the third a young couple. So the priest calls each of these couples in and presents them with a challenge.

“In order to get married at my church,” he says “you have to go an entire month without having sex.”

So they leave the church and they come back one month later, and the priest calls them in separately to see how it went.

First, he asks the elderly couple, “Have you been able to complete my task?”

“Yes, it was easy...” they replied, and they set the date for their wedding.

Next, he calls in the middle-aged couple, “Were you two able to complete the month without sex?” he asks them.

“Yes,” they replied “it got a little bit difficult towards the end but we made it through.” And he allowed them to set a date for their wedding as well.

Finally, he calls in the young couple and he asks them “Were you able to complete the month?”

“No, we couldn’t do it...” they said.

“Tell me why” the priest replies.

“Well my girlfriend was holding a can of corn and she dropped it,” the boyfriend said “and when she bent over to pick it up, I couldn’t help myself.”

Then the priest said “Well, for not completing the challenge I cannot allow for you to be married in my church. In fact, I never want to see you back here again.”

“Funny,” the boyfriend replies, “we aren’t welcome in the supermarket either.”
 
The Hippie and the Nun.
renderTimingPixel.png

One day, a nun is sitting on a bus. A hippie saunters over and says "Hey lady, wanna have sex with me?" The nun politely declines and gets off the bus on the next stop.

The bus driver, who overheard this conversation, stopped to talk to the hippie before he got off.

"Ya know, that nun goes to the cemetery every Sunday night to pray at the graves of her parents. I bet if you dressed in robes, put on some glowing powder, and claimed you're God, that nun will do whatever you want her to."

So that Sunday, the hippie does exactly this and finds the nun at the cemetery.

"NUN, I AM GOD, YOU MUST DO MY BIDDING. YOU MUST HAVE SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW."

Immediately, the nun agrees but says "Of course, my Lord. But please, may it be anal? I wish to preserve my virginity."

The hippie reluctantly agrees and the two have anal sex. After they are done, the hippie rips off his mask and shouts "HAHA. IM THE HIPPIE."

The nun then rips off her mask and says "HAHA. IM THE BUS DRIVER."
 
The Hippie and the Nun.
renderTimingPixel.png

One day, a nun is sitting on a bus. A hippie saunters over and says "Hey lady, wanna have sex with me?" The nun politely declines and gets off the bus on the next stop.

The bus driver, who overheard this conversation, stopped to talk to the hippie before he got off.

"Ya know, that nun goes to the cemetery every Sunday night to pray at the graves of her parents. I bet if you dressed in robes, put on some glowing powder, and claimed you're God, that nun will do whatever you want her to."

So that Sunday, the hippie does exactly this and finds the nun at the cemetery.

"NUN, I AM GOD, YOU MUST DO MY BIDDING. YOU MUST HAVE SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW."

Immediately, the nun agrees but says "Of course, my Lord. But please, may it be anal? I wish to preserve my virginity."

The hippie reluctantly agrees and the two have anal sex. After they are done, the hippie rips off his mask and shouts "HAHA. IM THE HIPPIE."

The nun then rips off her mask and says "HAHA. IM THE BUS DRIVER."


I can say with absolute certainty that this is just a nasty rumor. I drove a bus for 27 years and this never happened! :p
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Upgrades & Donations

This Forum's expenses are primarily paid by member contributions. You can upgrade your Forum membership in seconds. Gold and Silver members get unlimited FREE classifieds for one year. Gold members can upload custom avatars.


Click Upgrade Membership Button ABOVE to get Gold or Silver Status.

You can also donate any amount, large or small, with the button below. Include your Forum Name in the PayPal Notes field.


To DONATE by CHECK, or make a recurring donation, CLICK HERE to learn how.

Forum statistics

Threads
165,934
Messages
2,206,391
Members
79,220
Latest member
Sccrcut8
Back
Top