We need some laughs
- Thread starter Gappmast
- Start date
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Okay here’s one I’ve been saving!
I can always find something better to wash my steak n tater down with, but I like the idea.
Adam in WI
Practically lives here
Yeah, but remember this is lunch we're talking about. Save the good stuff for after 3 o'clock
NorCalMikie
Gold $$ Contributor
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client .
"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ... and I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."
"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ... and I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."
This brings back over 30 years of working construction. We stop for one after work. If there were 5 or 6 people in the group, you would each buy one round. That’s stopping for one!
jds holler
Gold $$ Contributor
Well known Irishman Paddy O'Reilly had died, and a long-time family friend was attending the wake. When he had a chance to talk to the widow, he asked her, "Well Colleen, could ya tell me just what it was that brought old Paddy down?"
Colleen replied. "Well ya know that Paddy liked his whiskey, and the older he got, the more that he liked it. It got to where he was never without it, and he became a drunken mess. Soon enough, his mind was shot and his health was gone. His eyes were like two pools of puss, and his body was like a bag of bones covered with running sores. He began to hemorrhage badly from both ends, and finally laid down and died."
"My God in heaven!!" exclaimed the friend. "Did you ever think of maybe trying to get him to go to Alcoholics Annominous?"
"Well now" replied Colleen, "It never got THAT bad."
jd
Colleen replied. "Well ya know that Paddy liked his whiskey, and the older he got, the more that he liked it. It got to where he was never without it, and he became a drunken mess. Soon enough, his mind was shot and his health was gone. His eyes were like two pools of puss, and his body was like a bag of bones covered with running sores. He began to hemorrhage badly from both ends, and finally laid down and died."
"My God in heaven!!" exclaimed the friend. "Did you ever think of maybe trying to get him to go to Alcoholics Annominous?"
"Well now" replied Colleen, "It never got THAT bad."
jd
I have a dog that has no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful.
Taught my 4 year grandson this, makes me laugh every time. The 2 year old brother is picking up on the words as well, makes my eyes water from laughing!
Mom and grandma just roll their eyes
.
Got another grandson on the way....
How does he smell?
Awful.
Taught my 4 year grandson this, makes me laugh every time. The 2 year old brother is picking up on the words as well, makes my eyes water from laughing!
Mom and grandma just roll their eyes
.Got another grandson on the way....
I bet that hurt!
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