Old (older) folks dying off.

[NorCalMikie]

Seen quite a few posts about friends dying off. I know there's a few of us "older" folks here on the forum and some of us MAY think we'll live forever? Never thought I would be as old as I am now.
What it comes down to is, Got a friend? Pick up the phone or at least email so they know they're still thought of.

Had a good shooting buddy. (brother from another mother ) Ran into him one day at the range, some BS and we clicked from then on. He also was a forum member here but got away from it over time.
A 1.5 hour drive over the hill from his house to the range. Maybe once a week, shoot, BS then do lunch. Follow up with an Email when he got home.
He had medical issues, as well as his Wife.
We had a shooting session planed but I got a phone call from him that he was under the weather and couldn't make it. Problems with meds!!
Next time, he made it to the range but couldn't unload his gear. NO PROBLEM!!
Unloaded his gear, set him up at the bench, set targets and when done, loaded his gear back in his truck and off to home he went.
Next week, he was good to go.
Called one evening and he cut me off short. VERY unusual for him but I didn't dwell on it. Then over time, less conversations and little contact.

Always made it a point to send Birthday, Christmas or whatever cards to both he and his wife.
Couple of calls and no answers. Kept the cards and calls coming.
Seat him a birthday card as usual. Couple of months later, get a card from his sister.
If I wanted to know anything about he and his wife, give her a call.
I had talked to her one time while he and I were shooting so she knew who we were.

Come to find out, His house had burned so he and his wife moved upstairs into the "office" maybe 50 yards away. His heart was bad enough that he had to take Nitro to get up the stairs!!
His wife ended up in the hospital and he tried his best to get her to come back home to help him cause he couldn't remember how to get back home from the Post Office 1/4 mile away.
On top of that, he didn't have enough $$$ to pay for his meds? Always hit his sister for $$.
I had given him $2K and never asked for it back.
He died one night while sleeping in his chair. His wife ended up in the hospital again and the sister mentioned that "at least she was clean and well taken care of". The wife died about a month later.
Sister in charge of their estate.
While going thru their things, Sister finds checks for over $200K from the Ins. Co for the house burn.
So, he was in fact NOT out of $$$ after all.
Just when you THINK you know someone and their situation, maybe you really don't.
Got friends? Check on them as much as you can. Not too long and they're gone, for good.

 

[Cemetery21]

Very good advice! I lost a good buddy from high school a few years ago. He would often call on my birthday and talk for an hour or so. We always meant to get together (too busy).
Finally we hooked up for a fishing trip - could not have had a better time. But, he could hardly walk up the hill from the dock. I waited on him and I should be the one stopping to rest. He died in his sleep a couple of weeks later. Oh, if I could go back and spend more precious time with him.....

 

[K22]

I've lost several shooting buddies over the last 5 years or so. It's depressing as hell since I really enjoyed their company at the range. It's one of the curses of growing old, watching your friends and love ones leave this earth.

I lost my wife on November 7 of this year after 48 years of marriage which has devastated me.

But then I give thanks that I've had a relatively good life. I had a remarkable wife, the best any man could ever hope to have and I had 48 years with her. She gave my life meaning and purpose.

I had a close friend killed in Vietnam - he was only 19 years old. Another friend died at 40 with cancer. My very close cousin died when he was 52. So I try to count my blessings rather than dwell on my loss but it's difficult at best. However if the good Lord takes me tomorrow I can say I lived a good life.

 

[Downeast]

I have an old rolodex on my desk. I went through it recently and pulled out all of my friends that had passed. It was quite a pile. But I've been losing them since high school but it never gets any easier. It's now my generation. They call it the cycle of life.

 

[Rsadams]

2 heart attacks in a year and 2 months at 53.... If I would have known I was going to make it this long I would have taken better care of myself...I am in the same boat , all friends and family pretty much gone...

 

[KMart]

For the last few years, several of us from our local range, have gotten every Friday for lunch. We are all retired so we have the time. We saw each other, off and on, at the range and usually for sure at lunch. Just seven or so old guys getting together for a couple of hours and BSing each other.
Huffmanite from this site was the first out. Then Larry suddenly was gone. Then a week or so ago, Ron, aka snakepit, from this site, has gone home.
It leaves you with a strange feeling to eat lunch with someone one week and their gone the next. Keep up with your friends because you never know when they won't be around any more.

 

[muleman69]

Yep, thought it would take much longer to get this old. Eat right and get some exercise and keep going. Also have a couple shots of whiskey or 8ozs of red wine ,if it doesn't work at least you will feal good. Helps to understand what wife is trying to say also....LOL

 

[DirtySteve]

Seems like every two weeks, for the last couple month, some one I had worked with or grew up with has passed. Be kind and do what you love.. We get a single ticket for this ride..Make the most of it..

 

[Coyotefurharvester]

The greatest generation is leaving us 245/ day. Leaving us with the bill and hillary,Joe what a step down.

 

[69mach]

my best friends grandfather raised him so i knew the old man very well. he was a retired school superintendent. after i came back from school and before i got married and after i was married i played texas holdem every wend night at a small rural town bar with a bunch of old crotchety men and 2 old women. i was the youngest player by i’d say 30 years. those were some of the best nights of my life looking back on them. nothing but good memories. i carried 2 oxygen machines in for 2 of the old men every night so they could play. and before the night was over someone would Have lifted up their chair and put one leg of their chair over and oxygen hose smashing the hose to where the oxygen would not go through it. and then the wait was on. i was young and alert so i usually caught what was happening. when the air got short and they traced the problem down. the old man that was blocking the air always acted like it was an accident and nothing more was said even though everyone knew better. the jokes were very crude numerous and certainly not politically correct. the old ladies were alway bringing in their garden Vegetables trading one another. one night my buddies grandpa looked over at thelma while she was holding a large cucumber as said, you know, you can eat those too. one night he elbowed me and pointed at some good looking gal shooting pool with what i assumed was her boyfriend. he said roses are red violets are blue we are going to screw bc i’m stronger than you. some of the jokes were bad enough i can’t say them without getting red to this day. one of the old men always answered his phone by saying, jt here. he was an air force retiree and had no volume control. his daughter had bought him a flip phone to have in case of emergency and he always cursed the phone and said it never worked right, i think mostly bc the other old guys would take my phone and call him holding my phone under the table so so they could hear him say jt here in his loud voice and then hang up on him. most of them smoked and you never asked if they wouldn’t smoke or if they would not blow the smoke over the table or you would have smoke blown in your face all night from multiple directions or until you just left and you weren’t taking your money out of the pot when you left. if you wanted it back you had to win it. i seen this happen several times over the years with hunters from outa state or strangers that seen us playing and wanted to play holdem with us. one of the old ladies called her cigarettes fags and in between hands she would say blind me in but nothing more, i’m going outside to smoke a fag. that always cracked me up. the old men were all veterans but a couple. they told jew, nazi, gay, hooker and death jokes every night just to name a few. i wish i had wrote them all down. looking back no one got offended and everyone laughed even though many of the joke were way over the line even by the standards of the time. nowadays theyd likely throw you in jail for those jokes. granted a lot of jokes got retold and passed off as their own but i never said anything. there was a lot of alcohol spilled and more drank. most of them like red beer and sometimes they would order me ,”the boy” a red beer hold the beer even though i was old enough to legally drink, not that they would have cared if i wasn’t. i won my share or holdem games but some of them old guys were pretty good and i always told them after they complained about social security that they didn’t really need it since me playing cards with them was like having a second retirement.
we started playeing holdem with 9-11 people and when we quit there was 4 left including me. all the others had passed away. fast forward to present day and there is only one gal left and i’d hate to have to guess her age. i went to every funeral except one that was held out of state where their kids lived. at one funeral they handed out poker chips along with the paper that the obituary on it. i know this has nothing to do with shooting but i had the time to chicken peck it out on my phone and thought it worth mentioning. i learned a lot playing texas holdem, whether i was from a crude joke casual conversation or a war story and most of all everything you have done has already been done and probably done better by someone of the greatest generation.

 

[jackson1]

This past week was rough. Attempted to call my cousin and wish him a merry Christmas. Called several times with no answer. Tried calling my Aunt and got through, only to find my cousin had passed away last month. The two of us spent summers on our grandfather's farm. Over the years we spoke many times. A constant thread of our conversations was about our childhood. I was Huck Finn and he was Tom Sawyer. I was the redneck country boy and he was quite proper. My cousin would not even drink from a glass that someone else had already drank from. My aunt has the same royal rank as Lady Dianna. Many relatives lovingly referred to her as a movie star. After 70 years of living in America she still sounds like the Queen of England. For the first time in my life, I had a long conversation with her. Always planned on having him visit and we would go to my cabin in the UP and relive our childhood. Next year was going to be the year. Well, that ain't going to happen. Regarding things never done, this is one of my deepest regrets.

 

[North Fork]

The older I get the less friends I have

 

[Just Say Moe]

I have an old rolodex on my desk. I went through it recently and pulled out all of my friends that had passed. It was quite a pile. But I've been losing them since high school but it never gets any easier. It's now my generation. They call it the cycle of life.

I still have my cousins and an aunt in my phone contacts list. They've been gone for years and they will stay in my phone as my way of keeping some sort of connection.

 

[NorCalMikie]

The wife's cousin, his wife died about a year or so ago. Her voice is STILL on his answering machine. She was a SWEETHEART and very much missed.
The wife didn't meet this cousin till she and I went to her Uncle and Aunt's 50th. wedding anniversary. Funny thing is, her Mom use to babysit him and his brothers when they were little.
Hadn't seen him in probably 20 years. he was married to my sister when I was around 10 or 11. They parted company years ago.
Stopped him from coming in the door. He looked at me with a BIG ?? on his face then it hit him who I was. We're as thick as thieves now and visit often.

The worst ones are the folks that die when you least expect it.
Worked in an Auto Dealership, boss was away in Germany on a Company get to gather.
Service Advisor was holding down the fort till the boss got back.
Came out to a friends Dairy and got loaded up with Cow turds for his garden.
Went back home and unloaded it with a shovel. Came back and got another load.
Went home and unloaded that.
Got a call early in the AM to put on a clean uniform and come and help hold down the fort. He died around midnight after unloading the crap. That was a shocker!!
The older you get, the faster times goes by.

 

[wkdickinson]

I read this thread earlier this morning and I have thought about it a lot all day. Being toward the 4th quarter of my life I have too had many people close to me pass away, both family and friends. Many of them I regret not having told them often enough that I loved them and how much their friendship meant to me. But the most difficult one, is a friend who I was very close with for quite a long time. We had some harsh words over something that I don't even remember. I never got the chance, or never made the opportunity to apologize or resolve those hard feelings, because he passed away unexpectedly. One of the truly great regrets in my life.

Here is a poem I found somewhere a while ago that really says it all:

Around the Corner I have a Friend

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell

And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Jim died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Because when you decide that it is the right time
It just might be too late.

Seize the day. Never have regrets..
And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.

 

[Kittitas George]

I have really been blessed. I still have a few friends left that I met in 'day care' during WWII or elementary school. That is a long time to know someone. Some I didn't see often, but, the conversation was more meaningful than the weather or gas mileage. Many of us and our parents were lucky, we always had opportunity and work, we didn't need to leave the area to make a living. Good work and good wages were available, also we were able to help each other. Since retirement many have scattered like quail to cheaper/ warmer/drier places to live. In my view the hard part of getting older is not the limitations and need for medical care, of course seeing others 'go up the trail' is a realization of where you are and what's ahead. The part that bothers me is, many of my friends had good ability, lots of smarts and were just "good people". To see them confused, with memory loss and dementia is tough. Very difficult to make those phone calls or go to visit. You have to be flexible, tolerant and adaptable to the situation. Usually recent memory leaves first, so bring up the 'old days' even if it was discussed last week, it will bring some joy. Enforce the "pocket full of memories", don't forget (ignore) those old friends.

 

[Downeast]

What really bothers me is that the older I get the less religious I become. Supposedly it should be the opposite as my day of reckoning comes closer. Perhaps my training as a scientist, my observations of nature, and my wife's amateur interest in astronomy and the vastness of the universe. There are hundreds of different religions in the world and I have come to the realization that all but one of them is completely wrong. And everyone I talk to tells me theirs is the right one.

 

[bluealtered]

We all lose friends and family along the way, I quit making fun of the light at the end of the tunnel years ago. I live in a small town and you are always reading about someone you know in the O-bits.

Now excuse me, that light in that tunnel is so darn bright I need to find my sun glasses.

 

[Downeast]

We all lose friends and family along the way, I quit making fun of the light at the end of the tunnel years ago. I live in a small town and you are always reading about someone you know in the O-bits.

Now excuse me, that light in that tunnel is so darn bright I need to find my sun glasses.

That's that big train coming at you.

 

[NorCalMikie]

Didn't meet my Father till I was in my 50s. Sister and he were close. He knew about me but we never met. Sister's involvement was the kicker.
We met, I got to spend time getting to know him. Not REALLY my kind of person but there WAS a void that got filled.
He had mentioned having hard feelings between he and one of his friends. What, he didn't remember. Funny how that happens. He wasn't holding anything against his friend.
He died and at his funeral, I tracked down the friend and MADE IT A POINT to let him know there was NO HARD FEELINGS between them. Not sure if it sunk in or not but I felt that it needed to be said.

What really bothers me is that the older I get the less religious I become.

Got nothing to do with religion. It's what you DO or DON't believe. Your choice.
The older you get, the closer you are to finding out if you're right or wrong.