Laugh for the Day

[22BRGUY]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper
View attachment 1411760

TRUE STORY
MY son has a good friend state trooper and he rode with him one night.
The trooper pulled over, shut off his lights and turned on the radar on a 4 lane
going south.
They sat and talked for quite awhile but very little traffic.
After about an hour a guy went flying by doing about 90.
The trooper ran him down and told my son that he walked up to the drivers window
and said "I've been waiting for you all night". The speeder replied "I got here as fast as I could!"
Trooper said "Slow down and get outa here"

 

[Nick Caprinolo]

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads...

 

[22BRGUY]

Biden went to the coroner today to get his weekly checkup.

 

[SEM]

Biden went to the coroner today to get his weekly checkup.

magic juice embalming keeps the zombie going

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[Old Tuffy]

 

[three percent]

View attachment 1408363

I'll take one him to ten skinny city boys though

 

[GotRDid]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper
View attachment 1411760

That must have been I-64, That’s one of our KY State Troopers.

 

[GotRDid]

 

[GotRDid]

 

[GotRDid]

 

[GotRDid]

 

[GotRDid]