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Warped sense of humor

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The Mosin Nagant at work.
Enemies At The Gates
 
A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene,
got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'.
In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields,
they made love. When Homer came back from the fields,
they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour
to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields
and he just wasn't getting enough work done.
Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do.
"Homer,"said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the field with
you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air.
That will be Darlene's signal to come out to you.
Then you won't lose any field time."
They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while.
Homer came back to the doctor's office.
What's wrong?" asked the Doc. "Didn't my idea work?"
"Oh, it worked real good," said Homer.
"Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said
and Darlene'd come runnin'.
We'd find a secluded place, make love,
and then she'd go back home again."
"Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.
"I ain't seen her since huntin' season started."
 
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