47WillysGuy
Gold $$ Contributor
Warped sense of humor
- Thread starter Ringostar
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And thanks to her I don't need those little blue pills any more!
I believe their names were Statler and Waldorf. The reason I know this is I watched a LOT of Muppets with my kids and those two were my favorites. Now that I am their age, I like them even more; I find my views on life are reflective of theirs more often than not. For example...
WALDORF: They aren’t half bad.
STATLER: Nope, they’re ALL bad!
STATLER: I wonder if there really is life on another planet.
WALDORF: Why do you care? You don’t have a life on this one!
WALDORF: What’s all the commotion about?
STATLER: Waldorf, the bunny ran away!
WALDORF: Well, you know what that makes him -
BOTH: Smarter than us!
STATLER: Boo!
WALDORF: Boooo!
S: That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard!
W: It was terrible!
S: Horrendous!
W: Well it wasn’t that bad.
S: Oh, yeah?
W: Well, there were parts of it I liked!
S: Well, I liked alot of it.
W: Yeah, it was GOOD actually.
S: It was great!
W: It was wonderful!
S: Yeah, bravo!
WALDORF: Boooo!
S: That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard!
W: It was terrible!
S: Horrendous!
W: Well it wasn’t that bad.
S: Oh, yeah?
W: Well, there were parts of it I liked!
S: Well, I liked alot of it.
W: Yeah, it was GOOD actually.
S: It was great!
W: It was wonderful!
S: Yeah, bravo!
Statler: Well, that was different.
Waldorf: Yep. Lousy...
Both: ...but different!
Statler: The question is, what is a Mahna Mahna?
Waldorf: The question is, who cares?
Waldorf: Bravo, bravo!
Statler: Why are you yelling bravo? Did you like it that much?
Waldorf: Nope; friend of mine, Joe Bravo, he's sitting in the front row. Bravo!
Statler: (after putting on his 3-D glasses) Hey, hey look! Look at the guy in the Goofy mask! ...that's not a mask. Oh; sorry lady!
Waldorf: Hey look, an orchestra of penguins!
Statler: Yeah, probably took the job for the halibut!
Waldorf: (commenting on the scenery for Piggy's number) Isn't it lovely?
Statler: Yeah. Too bad they're gonna spoil it with a pig.
Statler: (on Bean's reuniting with the other Muppets) This is a very moving moment.
Waldorf: Yeah; I wish they'd move it to Pittsburgh!
Waldorf: I wish Gene Kelly would teach me to Charleston.
Statler: I wish Gene Kelly would DRIVE you to Charleston!
Statler: Wake up you old fool. You slept through the show.
Waldorf: Who's a fool? You watched it.
After a Russian number:
S: Well, there goes detente!
W: Where?
S: Never mind.
S: Did you like that number?
W: Speak up, my hearing aid's busted!
S: DID YOU LIKE THAT NUMBER?
W: I LIKE WHAT I HEARD!
S: WHAT DID YOU HEAR?
W: 'DID YOU LIKE THAT NUMBER?'
S: Doyyyyy!
S: Is your hearing aid fixed?
W: No.
S: Then how do you know what I'm saying?
W: I don't!
S: Oh. (does double take)
S: I like the steel Drums!
W: What?!?
S: THE PIGS' STEEL DRUMS!!!
W: I beleive it! They'll take anything that isn't bolted down!
S: Have you ever been to a Witch Doctor?
W: They're all witch! Ever been to a poor doctor?
S: You did it! You saved the Pig and Frog!
W: Well, it was too late to save the movie!
watching a fashion show
S: Nice lines!
W: Yeah!! And the dresses aren't bad either
(later)
S: Waldorf!! Wake up! Here come the bikinis!
W: Oh boy! Let's syncronize our pace makers!
W: The bear and the Snowman are a great team.
S: Yeah! The snowman's ice cold and the bear's not so hot!
Statler: Do you believe in life after death?
Waldorf: Every time I leave this theater.
Statler: Brrrr. It's freezing in here. Waldorf when you
come back can you give me my coat?
(Waldorf brings Statler a goat)
Statler: Your hearing aid's busted again.
Waldorf: Did you get us tickets?
Statler: You bet! They're for a bus out of town!
Statler: Can you sing tenor?
Waldorf: What?
Statler: Can you sing tenor, as in ten or eleven miles away
from here?!
OK, it's late and I'm going fishing early, so I'll stop for now and give the rest of you a shot.
Last edited:
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