Warped sense of humor
- Thread starter Ringostar
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KMart
Gold $$ Contributor
For you Zoomies
A fellow walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a Chief Master Sergeant from the local Air Force Base walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'd like a line-service monkey please."
The clerk nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the Chief, "That'll be $1,000.00" The Chief paid and left with the monkey.
Surprised, the fellow went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them here are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that was a line-service monkey. He can park, fuel, and service all Air Force aircraft, conduct all required ground ops testing, rig aircraft flight controls and all with zero mistakes. He's well worth the money."
With his interest peaked, the fellow looked around and spotted a monkey in another cage with a $10,000.00 price tag. "That one's really expensive! What can it do?"
"Oh, that one is a maintenance supervisor monkey. He can instruct at all levels of aircraft maintenance, supervise all corrective and preventive maintenance programs, supervise a crew of maintainers and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.
The guy looked around a little more and found another monkey in a cage at the back of the store. The price tag read, $50,000.00. "Holy cow! What does this one do?"
"Well, the shopkeeper said, I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer, flirt with the girl monkeys and play with his pecker, but his papers say he's a pilot."
A fellow walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a Chief Master Sergeant from the local Air Force Base walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'd like a line-service monkey please."
The clerk nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the Chief, "That'll be $1,000.00" The Chief paid and left with the monkey.
Surprised, the fellow went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them here are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that was a line-service monkey. He can park, fuel, and service all Air Force aircraft, conduct all required ground ops testing, rig aircraft flight controls and all with zero mistakes. He's well worth the money."
With his interest peaked, the fellow looked around and spotted a monkey in another cage with a $10,000.00 price tag. "That one's really expensive! What can it do?"
"Oh, that one is a maintenance supervisor monkey. He can instruct at all levels of aircraft maintenance, supervise all corrective and preventive maintenance programs, supervise a crew of maintainers and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.
The guy looked around a little more and found another monkey in a cage at the back of the store. The price tag read, $50,000.00. "Holy cow! What does this one do?"
"Well, the shopkeeper said, I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer, flirt with the girl monkeys and play with his pecker, but his papers say he's a pilot."
Yes, I agree to some point that we need to clean it up and try not to offend anyone. Though that one about how does Trump sleep at night, was downright comical.
J F Johannes
AKA "RatRifle"
You’re kidding right?
Your exactly right about the liberal news having no problem printing their political cartoon’s!
I am surly sorry, i just thought I could post things and people could decide for them selves if they thought it was funny or not. I did not say that one party or another was better than the other,right or wrong, I just happen to side with what i posted.
I could have easily posted political cartoons that made fun of Trump. That's not what this site/thread is about. It's fellow shooters (members) sharing information.
In this case sharing humor. We agree to dis-agree. I'm sure you would not like to see on this site, something belittling trump or making fun of him and his supporters.
Lets not go there.... so lets stop it
In this case sharing humor. We agree to dis-agree. I'm sure you would not like to see on this site, something belittling trump or making fun of him and his supporters.
Lets not go there.... so lets stop it
CONVERSATIONS WITH STUPID PEOPLE
At a fish hatchery, in front of a small display that describes the now-extinct Michigan Grayling (a kind of fish).
In an old churchyard from the 1700s. Among the tombstones was one dated around 1725 that had fresh flowers by it.
In a photo store, which specializes in restoring old photographs, a lady brought in an old picture of a man sitting behind a cow, milking it.
In an art supply store where artists' canvas is sold by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
At a fish hatchery, in front of a small display that describes the now-extinct Michigan Grayling (a kind of fish).
- Tourist: "Is the Grayling still extinct?"
- Me: "Yes sir, it doesn't exist anymore."
- Tourist: "Any thoughts of bringing it back?"
- Me: "No, I don't think that's possible."
- Tourist: "Why not?"
- Me: "Because it's extinct."
- Tourist: "Still?"
- Me: "Yes."
In an old churchyard from the 1700s. Among the tombstones was one dated around 1725 that had fresh flowers by it.
- Our Friend: "I wonder who has been here with the flowers?"
- My Girlfriend: (joking) "I guess the widow has been here."
- Our Friend: "Yes, I guess you're right. Who else could it have been?"
In a photo store, which specializes in restoring old photographs, a lady brought in an old picture of a man sitting behind a cow, milking it.
- Her: "Can you fix this picture for me?"
- Me: "Sure. What would you like us to do?"
- Her: "Can you move the cow?"
- Me: "Move the cow?"
- Her: "I want to know what my great-grandfather looked like. That's him."
- Me: "I don't think we can do that."
- Her: "Just move the cow over, and we'll be able to see his face."
- Me: "I'm sorry. We don't have the technology to do that."
- Her: (getting huffy) "Well, I guess I'll just take this somewhere else."
In an art supply store where artists' canvas is sold by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
- Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
- Me: "Certainly, what width?"
- Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
KMart
Gold $$ Contributor
You are not required to read his posts.
There is an "Ignore" button so you don't have to see his posts.
I believe that on another shooting site that I am a member of, this thread wouldn't even be possible because, in most cases, the humorous stuff posted isn't gun or shooting related. I appreciate the fact that the staff has allowed this thread to continue, as it brings humor in a time that there is very little to be had. If the staff says stop, do so and let's keep this going instead of pissing and moaning. Just my .02.
Yes you could have, there are many out there and I can laugh at them as well. People can say what they want... your going there not me. Listen to Kmart... you don't have to look at them. And like blackwidowp61 stated if I was asked by the staff to stop I will. Gina1, I don't know you personally but I think this Simms up what I'm trying to say....(see picture above)
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