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Old and new Military Veterans

Please forgive me if this is out of line or in the wrong place. I have a wife that followed me around and supported me through 7 combat tours, over 6 full years of combat. I don't know how she sat home and just wondered day do day if we were gonna live to come home. The pain from those tours is just starting to take hold about a year after retirement. Time to reflect and look at my daughter, my mind scrambling for thought while I watch her play. She's only 6 years old but somehow remembers me coming home, she lived through 2 combat tours herself. She asks if my Marines are ok as in present tense with that innocent voice and ice blue ice with true genuine concern almost as if she's reading my mind. My wife.....my wife is hard as nails, she has endured pain I cannot fathom. She was the one back home with the young wives doing her best to put on the happy face and tell the most heart felt lie she could muster to keep her from breaking completely down. Any Veteran that served understands this. I lie awake at night asking myself this question. Was it all worth it. Look at where the country is headed. All the lazy no good worthless Americans on welfare taking advantage of the system. A Government that cant make a decision about War or even get a plan together due to our Nations Greatest War Generals ideas being put on the back burner while the president does things his own way. Mediocracy is accepted and celebrated. Maybe I have a stick up my butt and am just venting.

But lately I do look around and the way things are going and think to myself....this is what I fought for. The honor and pride of fighting for my country and doing my part to come home wounded to a VA Hospital that treats you like your intruding on T TIME at the links later. This isn't a constant battle just sometimes I see things that set me off and make me ask myself what the hell was it all for. I apologize if I've overstepped my bounds I just thought maybe brother on here had a more eloquent way of putting things into words.


Very Respectfully
 
Thanks for your service. Welcome home. Keep your family foremost in your heart & mind. Don't dwell on the bad stuff. It takes time and perseverance but your family will pull you through. Semper-Fi, it's more than a motto.

HM3 Platoon Corpsman
Delta 1/5 69-70
 
to quote a "turd", I feel your pain. When you came home, you came home to a public that was glad to see you. Another group before you came home from RVN and the public wasn't quite so welcoming.
I don't know exactly what all that means but keep moving forward. Keep taking care of your family, they depend on you daily. Enjoy every day with your little girl, she won't be young for very long.
In time, the pain won't be a sharp as it is now. But it will still be there. It is manageable.

Hang in there brother
Semper Fi
 
OIF/OEF, you are not alone. There are many that are like you.

Peer groups are the only thing that ever helped me. Those that are like you are the only ones that you can open up to.

Maintain, talk with your family, and overcome. Don't succumb to being an adrenaline junky or anger management issues.

Semper Fi,

Pappy
RVN 66-68
 
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I was US Army for 5 years but I CANNOT relate to you in the sense that I was granted a CIB; I never had to see combat! I would have done my duty had I been sent but I'm thankful I didn't have to go there! There has always been those that sat back and let others defend them and as you say....taken advantage of FREEDOM that you and yours were attempting to sustain! Your duty and your brothers duties and actions are most thankful by millions of Americans who still understand DUTY! You've done yours and you have nothing to be ashamed of! Enjoy your family and friends because life is short! I'll be 75 this coming 25 March and I often wonder....where did all that time go!

GOD BLESS and one Vet to another.....SEMPER FI!!
 
Nam vet here.. Somehow I manage to block all that shit out.. Yes I do think about the same things you do, and the combat I was involved in.. I also think about a bunch of other dumb stuff I did as a civilian back when I was young and bullet proof.. I think I deal with it by having a lot of hobbies.. I also have a very supportive family, though all I had back then was a wife..

As for dealing with the VA, it is what it is.. I know the cluster you are talking about. My son is dealing with them for several years trying to get fixed up.. Seems like the VA is an extension of the military's "Hurry up and wait" philosophy. I am 67 and the govm'nt and the VA have been FUBAR ever since I can remember.

All I can say is that you cannot change things, or people, but you can change and control yourself. Leave the past behind and look forward. Start planning your future with your wife family. Talk to your wife about your feelings. If she's like my wife she can be your greatest asset. Find a few hobbies you like. Find some friends that like to do what you do. Lean on your family. Go to a Veterans outreach center if there is one in your area.. Yes it was worth it. You did your part and did it well.. If you need to talk drop me a PM or email
 
Thank You for you service and Welcome Home Brother. PM sent on how I learned to manage similar issues.

Respectfully

Rich
 
Military wives are stronger than the Rock of Gibralter, and deserve the highest recognition and love that can be bestowed upon them by their country and their families.

My father spent 20 years in the military and was at Pearl Harbor on December 7th. I spent 26 years in the military. To my knowledge he never second guessed whether it was worth it or not, given the change in times ... or the state of the nation ... or the vicissitudes of life thrown at him. Neither have I. Fair Winds and Following Seas.
 
Thank you for your and your wife's sacrifice.

Now.. turn off that the TV and stay off political websites. Being informed is one thing, you don't need the new channels on every night when you get home from work. The news can be depressing but it's also taking a lot of things out of context. It's not as bad as it looks.

Thankfully... good productive people far out number those that are abusing the welfare system.

Every day nearly 50 million kids in this country get up and go to school. They don't have to worry about having acid thrown on them or their school getting shelled.

Roughly 150 million Americans go to a job everyday. Each one is a contributor to society.

It's not all for naught. Now... start enjoying life. Don't waste it by getting down over a few bad apples. You've earned your peace.
 
Pappy, were you in the delta and headed home in 68? I may have been your replacement in Soc Trang. It is not easy to heal as I still have problems but one day at a time. Yes I hate the news and the way this country is operating. I was spit on in the airport when I came home. I'm still not over all of it but I do talk with my best friend from over there. He is the only one that I feel can relate to, what we went through and I know others had it worse than I did. I married the wrong woman, she's gone, I do have faith in the dog's that I have had and have now. Had a lab that got me through some real bad times. I still jump at a loud noise.
 
My Marine Corps fighting days are over. My wife God Bless her is now the one with the second round of unknown tomorrows. We do go through it together. I denied having any issues for a long time until she put her foot down and said get help now. Friends come and go I seem to get attached to someone and have a great friendship and then one day I never speak to them again and have no idea why. One of them will read this I have no doubt and I am very sorry. Yeah turning off the Fox and other news networks is a must. On a lighter note I ordered some cheap crow decoys off of Amazon and damn they worked great bagged a few of them which is more than enough for a few sandwiches.
 
Find a PTSD peer group, VA or other, from your generation. Get involved with the idea of helping yourself and others. Don't wait 40+ years like I did and lose a wife and family in the process. A woman as strong as yours can't be replaced at any price. I volunteer at a local homeless vets shelter and continue with PTSD group at local VA. I'm a much better and happier human being. Don't dwell on the past. Open your arms to the future. You deserve a happy ending and it can be yours if you apply yourself. Keep on Keepin' on :)
 
Please forgive me if this is out of line or in the wrong place. I have a wife that followed me around and supported me through 7 combat tours, over 6 full years of combat. I don't know how she sat home and just wondered day do day if we were gonna live to come home. The pain from those tours is just starting to take hold about a year after retirement. Time to reflect and look at my daughter, my mind scrambling for thought while I watch her play. She's only 6 years old but somehow remembers me coming home, she lived through 2 combat tours herself. She asks if my Marines are ok as in present tense with that innocent voice and ice blue ice with true genuine concern almost as if she's reading my mind. My wife.....my wife is hard as nails, she has endured pain I cannot fathom. She was the one back home with the young wives doing her best to put on the happy face and tell the most heart felt lie she could muster to keep her from breaking completely down. Any Veteran that served understands this. I lie awake at night asking myself this question. Was it all worth it. Look at where the country is headed. All the lazy no good worthless Americans on welfare taking advantage of the system. A Government that cant make a decision about War or even get a plan together due to our Nations Greatest War Generals ideas being put on the back burner while the president does things his own way. Mediocracy is accepted and celebrated. Maybe I have a stick up my butt and am just venting.

But lately I do look around and the way things are going and think to myself....this is what I fought for. The honor and pride of fighting for my country and doing my part to come home wounded to a VA Hospital that treats you like your intruding on T TIME at the links later. This isn't a constant battle just sometimes I see things that set me off and make me ask myself what the hell was it all for. I apologize if I've overstepped my bounds I just thought maybe brother on here had a more eloquent way of putting things into words.


Very Respectfully
As an old Vietnam combat vet., I have many of the same issues. The one thing that has helped me greatly is going on YouTube and watching "stoic" videos. My son was injured in the Navy and he turned me on to being stoic. The ability to realize that we cannot change the VA for the better, especially considering the current administration, but we can accept that we can change how we deal with it.
 
I dont blame you for being pissed at all the laziness and wellfare mooching. I have a few stories that pit my blood pressure through the roof, but it doesn’t fix anything. I have to tell myself to worry about myself and my family, until I can come up with a way to fix it I have to do that, some days that is dam hard


On a separate, related note: the gentleman that operates the following non profit is a combat vet marine who operates a kennel training and boarding many types of service dogs. He is a great guy and a extremely knowledgeable trainer. I board my dog with him and have hired him for training as well. I was just talking to him the other day about what his non profit does. He has seen some vets that have been greatly helped by the service dogs he trains. The dogs are trained by him and his staff and given to veterans at no cost to the vet. I would encourage anyone dealing with issues from deployment to contact them
I would also highly recommend him to anyone looking for training for a bird dog
 

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